A Nation Rejoices!
The Scotsman, November 17th 2010
The country might be going to the dogs – with even David Cameron panicking and talking of ‘decline’ and sacking his photographer, hairdresser and what other vital things the No. 10 Vanity Squad did.
Yet Britain still does some things well which make you proud and allow you to get out the old Union Jack. No I am not talking about wars. We tried those under Blair and they are damned expensive when the final bill comes in.
I am talking of course about that other time-honoured British tradition: the great Royal Wedding – with Prince William announcing his engagement to Kate Middleton.
I hope this momentous announcement will allow everyone to get things into proper perspective, put those pesky separatists in place (note: that’s you royal loving Alex Salmond), and of course it shows joined up government, as it will impact favourably on David Cameron’s happiness index.
Isn’t this all a bit obvious and retro? A Groundhog Day speeded up version of the 1980s. Unpopular cuts, riots in the streets, them the Royal Wedding. And why do we need it when we have Strictly and the X Factor?
Surely given the Irish crisis more radical action is called for. Now that we have the audacity to sell off the Royal Mail, can’t we sell off the House of Windsor plc? With all its assets, both in terms of tourism and real estate, it would make a hefty contribution to the coffers.
And isn’t it about this time we used this crisis to engage in some real democratic change, rather than just inflicting pain on those who are most vulnerable and least responsible for the mess we are in. Is it beyond British ingenuity and imagination to wake up and become a modern republic and democracy? We can but dream.